Photos from the epilogue scene of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” have begun making their way onto the internet. I saw a photo of Dan and Bonnie aged, and that photo hit me hard with such a sense of finality, that I made a decision to not look at the photos because I want to save something big for the big screen. I’ve been avoiding all of the Twitter posts and HP fan pages that have links (or actual photos) of the kids and adults, because honestly if I see Ron or Draco or any of the kids, I feel like I might cry and be sad that this is proof that the series is most definitely coming to an end.
I’ve done good with avoiding photos for two days.
I decided to go and check my LiveJournal page to see what my friends are up to, and halfway down the page I’m besieged by DH photos that aren’t under a cut.
Not that I am blaming anyone who is posting photos or squeeing over how cute Hugo Weasley is (and dammit, he’s effin’ adorable!) But I saw that photo and immediately began tearing up, which is what I was trying to avoid in the first place. I’m so not ready for this saga to be over, and for me, those photos are the Jack Bauer countdown clock that I’ve been trying to avoid.
It’s not that I’m trying to avoid being “spoiled”. I finished reading Deathly Hallows approximately 13 hours after buying it (and that was with an hour nap in between pages). I know what happens to my favorite characters, and I know how the story ends. For me, it’s more of not wanting to be spoiled visually. I know some people who have avoided looking at photos of the WWoHP, simply because they want the full “ooh” factor the first time they gaze at the real-life Hogwarts. There are just some things I want to see for the first time on the screen (and in 3-D to boot…wow, sounded a bit like Hagrid there). I know that once I see a grown-up Ron, with his children, the fangirl in me will bawl in simultaneous joy and sadness. I think if I see too much now, it will lessen the impact of the film for me, and I truly don’t want that. I want the full, “I’m sitting in the front row of the Super Bowl at the 50-yard line” impact that this film is sure to bring for me – the same impact that finding these books has had in literally changing my life.
Sure, the fandom will never die – I get that. I know that after DHII is over and done with, shipping wars will still be debated, fanfiction (good and bad) will still be written, and I will still have the friends that have become closer than family to me that I found because of this series. But it was painful for me to know that the books had come to an end, and now there is proof that the movies are too, and I’m not ready.
Not by a long shot.